Mediation: the room and the release — Self Rep Ready
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Prepare to walk out calmly NSW 6 min read

Mediation: the room and the release

Part 2 of Mediation without dependence. The day itself, and the deed at the end of it.

Part 2 of 2

Part 2 of Mediation without dependence. The day itself, and the deed at the end of it.

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Mediation without dependence

Verify with

A NSW settlement solicitor and accredited mediator.

What to bring

  • A one-page summary of the matter: the parties, the issues, the stage, the next date. The one-page script format works.
  • Your confirmed factual spine and the six or eight key documents, tabbed
  • The three-numbers card, in your pocket, not on the table
  • The "what nothing looks like" paragraph
  • Your costs to date and estimated costs to hearing, on one line
  • Any order that referred the matter and any mediation agreement or intake form the mediator sent
  • Food, water, charger, a notepad. It will be a long day.
  • A support person if the process allows one and you want one. Ask the mediator in advance.

In the room

  • Opening statement: short, factual, calm. What the dispute is about from your side, in three or four sentences, without adjectives. The Calm Spine guide is about exactly this tone: warm and unhurried, holding a real boundary.
  • Let the other side speak first where you can. You learn their position. Then answer it, briefly.
  • In private sessions, say less than you know. You do not have to explain your numbers or your reasoning to the mediator, and nothing requires you to reveal what you would accept. "That is not a figure I can agree to" is a complete sentence.
  • Ask for breaks. Any time a decision is being asked of you. Step outside, read your card and your paragraph, decide, come back. The mediator expects this.
  • Do not move the floor for pressure. New information or advice can change it; the hour, the tone and the tiredness cannot. Name the reason before you move.
  • Write down every offer, with the time it was made and any conditions. Offers get remembered differently.

Guard the release

If there is an agreement, it will be written up, usually as a deed or terms of settlement, and you will be asked to sign it before leaving. Heads of agreement signed in the room are usually binding even if a fuller deed follows, and an agreement reached orally or by exchanged messages can bind too, depending on what was intended and agreed; so the reading and the deciding happen before you commit, not before the second signature. The most important clause is the release: the words in which you give up claims. A wide release can settle far more than this dispute, including claims you have not raised; what it actually covers depends on its wording, the parties named, the claims described and any statutory limits. A narrow one settles the matter in front of you and expressly reserves everything else. Read the words; do not rely on the label.

  1. Read every word. If it takes an hour, it takes an hour. Nobody can make you sign faster than you can read.
  2. Find the release clause and read it twice. Ask what "all claims" covers. Ask whether it covers things you have not raised. If the answer is yes and you did not mean that, say so.
  3. Ask for "subject to advice" if you have any way of getting advice within a few days. An agreement can be made conditional on a short review period, but only if that condition is expressly agreed before you commit; it is uncommon in court-annexed mediation and the other side may decline, which is their right.
  4. Check the mechanics. Who pays what, by when, how. What happens if they do not. Confidentiality terms and what they stop you saying. Costs. Whether the proceedings are discontinued and on what terms.
  5. Do not sign anything you do not understand. "I would like to take this away and read it properly" is not a breach of good faith. It is the opposite.
The last hour is when mistakes are made

Deeds get drafted at 5pm by the other side's solicitor and handed across as "standard". Standard for them. Slow down precisely when everyone else speeds up.

Afterwards

If there is agreement: keep the signed document, diarise every date in it, and do exactly what it says by when it says. If there is no agreement: the timetable is still running. Check the next date, and send yourself a short note the same evening recording what was offered, so the position is clear if talks resume. Then do the thing in the "what nothing looks like" paragraph. You wrote it for this.

Either way, the day will have cost more than it looked like it would. Sleep. The 15 principles have a line about the day after.

From Jordan's case file

Fictional example: The figure he did not move
The court referred Jordan's dispute with Meridian to mediation. The week before, he wrote his three numbers on an index card with a sentence of reasoning under each. Under the floor he wrote the costs of getting to hearing, the range he thought a court might order, and one line: "Below this I would rather be heard." He wrote the paragraph about what nothing looked like: the evidence due in six weeks, the hearing in four months, the two days off work, the outcome range. He read it on the train. Meridian opened low. The mediator, in private, was direct with Jordan about the risks of continuing. Jordan listened, took a break, read the card, and came back with a figure above his floor. By mid-afternoon Meridian had moved, but to a number below the floor, with a deed attached that released "all claims of any kind, whether known or unknown". He said he was not able to accept the figure, and that in any case the release was wider than the dispute. The mediator asked whether a narrower release would change the figure. Jordan said it would not change his floor. At 4:40pm Meridian's solicitor produced a revised deed. Jordan read all seven pages while everyone waited. The release now covered the building contract and nothing else. The figure was at his floor. He signed it at 5:15, having read it twice. He had not decided anything in the room that he had not decided the week before.

Checklist

  • Advice obtained on value and on the deed if at all possible
  • Three numbers, with reasons, written before the day; floor moved only for new information or advice, never for pressure
  • Non-money terms listed as need, like, and trade
  • "What nothing looks like" paragraph written and read on the morning
  • One-page summary, spine, key documents and costs line in the bag
  • Opening short and factual; breaks taken before every decision
  • Every offer written down with time and conditions
  • Any agreement read in full; release clause read twice and kept narrow
  • "Subject to advice" requested where possible; nothing signed that is not understood
  • Afterwards: dates diarised, or the timetable picked back up the same evening
General information only, not legal advice. Whether to settle, on what terms, and what a claim is worth are questions for qualified advice. Mediation procedure, confidentiality and privilege are governed by Part 4 of the Civil Procedure Act 2005 (NSW) for mediations referred by NSW courts to which Part 4 applies (Local Court small claims are excluded); private mediations and other courts and tribunals have their own provisions. All names, documents, dates, figures and events in the examples are fictional. Last reviewed: September 2026.